My Daughter's Clothes

             My Daughter’s Clothes

Yesterday I saw a little girl walking…. She was wearing my daughter’s clothes….

Once upon a time ago, I had posted on our local free cycle site (where you give unwanted goods away to others that can use them), that I had a box of girl’s clothing available. My daughter grows like a weed, and we are fortunate enough to be able to afford her some pretty decent clothing. Most of it she outgrows after wearing a few times or she doesn’t get a chance to wear it at all. Generally, the clothing looks brand new. 

A lady contacted me saying she could use the clothing for her daughter so I made arrangements for pick up. She explained to me she didn’t have a car and I would need to drop them off. I was given instructions to place them in the carport and not bother knocking. I figured maybe no one would be around so didn’t think much of it.

When I dropped the box off, I gave them to her husband as he was just coming out the door. If I did not see him come out of their home, I would have thought he was a homeless person. He simply stated, “put them in the carport”. No greeting, no thank you, nothing of the sort. He just got in his car and drove away. (Yes, I did say his car).

            Since this transaction, I have seen this same lady post on various sites to claim free items offered (all of the free items, she does not seem to discriminate), to ask for cans and bottles, to ask for anything she is missing, such as warm clothing, food, and even a quad. Yes, an off-road vehicle. After repeatedly, seeing these posts…I found myself feeling pretty judgy. Which is generally not like me, especially where there are children involved. 

            I considered the fact that she is able bodied (because I see her hanging around everywhere), and her daughter is in school full time. There is no reason she cannot be working instead of constantly asking for handouts. There are several places within walking distance of her home. In my mind, I went over how hard I work, caring, doing and providing for everyone around me, and it’s not easy but I would never let my children go without their needs being met. It bothered me that she seemed to be wasting her days away while her child did not have warm clothing or food. 

            When discussing this with my mister, (after I sent the judgement packing), I had said to him that if me dropping off clothing we no longer needed helped her daughter, then it was ok with me and I would continue to do so. What her mother chose to do, or not do, would have no bearing on that.

             I went on to explain that if I could give that little girl a sense of belonging amongst her peers, through some nice clothing that made her feel good about herself, maybe that would create possibilities in her young mind of what she could hope for her future, then, I would continue to give all of the clothes, all of the things, all of the food, to her family.

            Shortly after this conversation I again saw the little girl walking. The same little girl I had seen walking various times before, small in stature, head down, hurrying for home…but today, today she was walking with head held high, open to the world around her…… and wearing my daughter’s clothes. 

            As she crossed in front of my vehicle, she looked right at me with the steadiest of gaze and smiled. (She has never met me and would have no way of knowing the clothes came from me). I was close to her home because I had just dropped off another box. 

            But this box was slightly different. The week before I had contacted the lady and asked what size her own feet were. Although the box I had dropped off contained the customary clothing for the young girl, it also contained a dress, a sweater, a couple of decent shirts, a pair of pants and a pair of nice shoes…….for her mom. 

            Had I of continued looking at this woman from a place of judgement, I would have removed the opportunity to make a difference for her, too. I always hope to create possibilities in the minds of children, being a teacher it is what I do, but by providing something for this mother perhaps she may see further possibilities for herself as well.

            Growing up my mom always taught us, when you feel like shit, and you feel like you’ve got it rough, look for someone that you can help out. On my judgy day, I did feel like shit and things did feel really rough, but a little bit of kindness goes a long way, no matter what that little bit consists of. For me, and this family, it is sharing the abundance we have with those that do not.

P.S My mom is wise AF!!!!!