Impending Apocolypse…?!! This morning I went to the grocery store. There were a lot of people, and the line ups were long…..upon entering the store, I noticed a lack of products and a lack of common respect among the patrons, (someone actually rammed me with their cart!). I immediately started to panic and questioned, “ Why was my mom not here to help me through this? ” She would know exactly what to do and what to buy, she always knew what we needed…. and then I remembered, ……… ‘I’ am here…and ‘I’ am her legacy! She trained me for this shit. Let me tell you about my mom...she raised our entire family with next to no money. I remember the days of ketchup sandwiches because there was nothing else to go in between the bread. Breakfast for dinner is a real thing because pancakes are cheap and plentiful. Cheese slices, never cheddar, because it was too expensive. I could go on. But you know wh
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The Day My Mom Died... As I sit and listen to my mom breathe her last breaths the sound is no longer rhythmic. I am in a quiet, softly lit room, surrounded by my loved ones, keeping watch over things I have no control of. It does not seem real, this watching I am doing. Over the last several hours there have been exhausted smiles,desperate tears,and many,many shaky breaths. I feel like we are in a painting, or a picture of some sort. I am watching my older sisters...one is asleep the other cannot....I wish I could take all of the pain away for them, for my dad, for my kids, for all of us...I wish we were safe and warm and happy like Christmas should be...instead I am watching, waiting, hyper aware of every sound and every nuance in the noises around me. The Christmas tree that my son set up glows blue in the night and the only other sound is the heater groaning on and clicking off alternating the temperature between lav
My Daughter's Clothes
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My Daughter’s Clothes Yesterday I saw a little girl walking…. She was wearing my daughter’s clothes…. Once upon a time ago, I had posted on our local free cycle site (where you give unwanted goods away to others that can use them), that I had a box of girl’s clothing available. My daughter grows like a weed, and we are fortunate enough to be able to afford her some pretty decent clothing. Most of it she outgrows after wearing a few times or she doesn’t get a chance to wear it at all. Generally, the clothing looks brand new. A lady contacted me saying she could use the clothing for her daughter so I made arrangements for pick up. She explained to me she didn’t have a car and I would need to drop them off. I was given instructions to place them in the carport and not bother knocking. I figured maybe no one would be around so didn’t think much of it. When I dropped the box off, I gave them to her husband as he was just coming out the door. If I did not
Christmas Dinner With a Side of Cancer
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Christmas Dinner With a Side of Cancer… So, about a week and a half before Christmas my sweet mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. You may think this put a damper on Christmas but that’s not how my mom rolls…that’s not how our family rolls…. My mom is a fucking saint…there’s no one walking this earth quite like her. You may think I am bias because she’s mine…. that’s simply not true. You ask anyone who has ever had any contact with my mom and they will tell you the same. If there are angels walking this earth, surely, she is one of them. Although, she will not hesitate to call any one of us out on our shit if needed. There’s nothing quite like a 5’2” woman kicking your ass without laying a finger on you! Over Christmas, in typical fashion of thinking of her family before herself, she didn’t want anyone to worry about her or be upset over Christmas so she asked me to not tell my children. They however found out at the Christmas d
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"My Top 5 Tips for Staying Organized..." Last week was 'National Organizing Week'...Mama, how did you do? It was a struggle for my clan... Every year around this time I find that the organization and good habits of September lie waste amongst the tiredness of October. With the weather turning to gloom, pressures mounting at work and school, sports seasons in full swing, 5 people going 5 different directions, add in some halloween costume prep, and thoughts of the impending Christmas season....we're all TIRED! If all of that wasn't enough, my mister is heading out of town to work for an extended period so this past weekend we took a quick trip stateside to visit family, making this mornings wake up a struggle.... and because we were away groceries have not been bought, lunches have not been made, theres no plan in place for this week... So without further adieu, my top 5 tips for keeping it together in spite of t
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"Looking for answers in the bottom of the lake....." Yesterday I sat at a familiar 3 way stop in tears.... I have been driving this road for 20 years or more. You see I had ran an errand after dropping the kids off at school and found myself on this familiar road, however, where I expected a 3 way stop there was now a round about under construction. I am adept at roundabouts. I have no issue with them and they produce no anxiety in me whatsoever, but finding a round about where there previously was not one threw me for a loop. I sat in tears and frustration wondering which way to go and how to navigate this round about in order to get to the other side. I knew if I could get to the other side I could carry on and complete my errands..... or.......I could turn right, and carry on up the mountain road to the lake. With not another vehicle in sight I was afforded the few minutes it took for my brain to come back online and realize how to get to the other side of the round